Silence be my Friend
by Stardance
Summary: GinnySirius friendship fic. Basicly how Ginny and Sirius become friends.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, J.K Rowling does, i am just satisfying my muse.

Ginny slipped softly down the stairs of 12 Grimwald. Clutched to her chest was a worn leather bound journal and an "always quill". She slipped into the library and had curled up in a chair before she noticed the other occupant, Sirius Black. He sat in the chair opposite her with a journal and quill poised in his hand. Ginny smiled whimsically at him before she bent her head down over her journal and began to scribble away. It took Sirius a few minutes before he too began to write in his journal. An hour later Sirius slipped from the room and was followed by Ginny twenty minutes later. As the weeks passed this became a nightly ritual between the two. Only once did Sirius ask her why? She replied, "It's like being exposed, you can't really know what I am writing about, but I can put down my darkest secrets in the journal and somehow feel like I am sharing with a real person. You know my secret and I know yours. It's that we have secrets or thoughts we can't share with others but, we can write them down. You're my secret keeper and I am yours and to tell anyone, would be a betrayal of self."

Sirius thought about her reply for a few minutes and realized she was right. The first few nights it had been strange and unsettling to write his thoughts down in front of Ginny as though she might be able to read them. That had passed into a sense of fellowship, a secret they two alone shared. After what both of them had been through to try and speak about it would be to relive it. Sirius' stay in Azkaban had raped him of his most inner thoughts and feelings. He found it so hard to talk about anything these days. He was afraid to talk of his past, afraid he would be trapped there, so he wrote it all down the good and the bad. One night Ginny looked up and at the fire before she stated I remember my first year very clearly right up until the end. A pointed question or two he asked and Lupin described briefly what had happen. This clarified her statement, he knew she remembered the Chamber, and in her own way she too had been raped of her thoughts and feelings for someone else's pleasure.

Ginny sat tears sliding down her cheeks as the solicitor read Sirius' will. Her thoughts flashed back to King's Crossing…after briefly talking with Harry he had pressed a new and empty journal into her hands. At Christmas the two of them had resumed their ritual, of the night library scribbling. For Valentine's Sirius had sent her some new quills, including a couple of sugar ones. Now her she sat having to say goodbye, to her best friend, for all they had only had a grand total of 5 conversations altogether numbering 100 words. Somehow through the fog she recognized her name, the solicitor had called her name. She looked up numbly at him before he sat a stack of journals in front of her, with a folded letter on top

_To My Secret Keeper,_

_All of my secrets, I fear they have destroyed me, le__t them not destroy you. Do with these what you will, but remember your own words._

_Sirius Black._

Ginny refused to answer any questions about why Sirius had left her something. She gathered the journals to her and whisked away with them. That night she slipped down to the library started a fire in the fireplace and began to burn his journals. The next morning found her covered in soot and the un-burnt end of a leather cover with the initials S.A.B. embossed in gold. When it was found she had burnt his journals Harry screamed at her and Lupin looked as though she had taken what was left of Black and destroyed him. "Why?" Harry continued to scream at her, "You had no right!"

Ginny so over come with grief and anger slapped Harry, "Selfish brat, you're not the only one who is hurting. Do you understand that he's gone, that he left me alone," she cried as sank to her knees. "He was my best friend, he understood and now he is gone and I have no one, I did the only thing I could for him…I kept his secrets, whatever was in those he didn't want people to see them. To stick their nose where they don't belong, he didn't want someone to ever know him that intimately again." She raised her head defiantly as she stared at Harry and Lupin, "His thoughts and feelings belonged to him and no one else, if he chose to share some of them with you that is fine. But he had everything taken from him when he was alive, every thought and feeling ripped from him for someone else's pleasure. I would not let that happen to him now that he is dead…they still belong to him and only him."

Harry pulled Ginny up by her arms and shook her, "but you know them, and you're nothing, I am his family." Ginny ripped her arms out of his hands, "I don't know his secrets. I only know that he had them and if you cared you would respect his wishes, but it is always about you, about how this is going to affect poor Harry. You would have looked through them even though it wasn't what he wanted because, you feel as though you were cheated out of time with him. Well Harry he was cheated too, and he had just as many rights and as many scars as you do. So I did what I could for him to let him rest in peace." Ginny looked relieved when Lupin ushered her out of the room. That night she slipped back into the library and took her accustomed seat, she set her quill to parchment and felt a smile tug at her lips.


End file.
